Setting Limits with Toddlers: 5 Tips For a Struggle Free Approach

Parenting toddlers can sometimes feel like a losing battle. Getting through a meal time can leave you sweaty, covered in food, and feeling defeated. Showing your toddler not to hit when upset and teaching more appropriate behaviors can be challenging, especially when you're reality as a child consisted of punishment, timeouts, and "do as I say, not as I do".
Setting boundaries with toddlers can often lead to tantrums and power struggles if you don't understand how to communicate with your toddler. Toddlers are egocentric, they only see things from their perspective and they want things to go their way at all times. Understanding this, combined with parenting strategies that support collaboration and healthy development will make setting boundaries simple and you'll see a decrease in power struggles.

Will the tantrums and power struggles stop completely? No. In fact, tantrums are a sign of healthy development, so they will happen occasionally. Having the tools to calmly respond to these tantrums will make parenting a less stressful and overwhelming experience. By using a thoughtful approach, you can hold a boundary while still being loving and firm.

1. Prepare Your Toddler for What's Going to Happen
One of the best ways to avoid a power struggle is to prepare your child for transitions. Toddlers often resist sudden changes, so giving them a heads-up can make a big difference. For example, instead of abruptly announcing bedtime, say, "After this game, it's bedtime." This gives your toddler time to adjust to the idea and reduces the likelihood of resistance.

2. Make Statements, Not Questions
When setting boundaries, it's important to be clear and direct. Asking questions can sometimes give the impression that there’s a choice when there isn’t one. Instead of asking, "Are you ready to go to bed?" say, "It's time for bed." This removes ambiguity and sets a clear expectation.

3. Offer Choices After the Statement
Toddlers love feeling a sense of control, and offering choices within the boundary can help them feel empowered. After stating the boundary, offer a simple choice: "Would you like to wear your red pajamas or your blue ones?" This encourages collaboration and gives them a sense of autonomy. Be sure to give them 10-15 seconds to make their decision. If they don’t choose, you can move on to the next step.

4. Make the Choice if They're Unable To
If your toddler is unable or unwilling to make a choice, you can make it for them. This maintains the boundary and moves the process forward without getting stuck in a power struggle. For example, if they don't choose their pajamas, calmly say, "Since you didn't choose, I'll pick the red pajamas for you."

5. Maintain the Boundary
Once a boundary is set, it's crucial to maintain it. Avoid back-and-forth negotiations, as this can undermine your authority and lead to more power struggles in the future. Be consistent and firm, yet loving. Let your toddler know that you are there to support them, but the boundary remains in place.

Setting boundaries with toddlers can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to lead to power struggles. By preparing your child for transitions, making clear statements, offering choices, and maintaining the boundary, you can create a positive and cooperative environment. Remember, you can hold a boundary and be loving at the same time. With practice, your toddler will learn to respect the limits you set while feeling secure in your consistent and caring approach.

How to Keep Up with Self-Care as a Busy Toddler Mom

As a toddler mom, you’re constantly on the go, juggling multiple responsibilities and tending to the endless needs of your little one. Whether you're a working mom or SAHM, with one toddler or multiples, it can become easy to put self-care on the back burner, but i've said it before and i'll say it again, taking care of yourself is crucial for your well-being and your ability to care for your family.

When I don't take the time to tend to my needs, I find myself being short with my family, easily triggered by my toddler's behavior, and feeling more overwhelmed than usual. I can't be the calm present parent I want to be for my children when i'm tired, overwhelmed, and frustrated. When I experience this, I course correct by ensuring that I create time to focus on my own needs and wellbeing every day. I want to share three simple yet effective ways that you can incorporate self-care into your busy routine each day.

1. Wake Up 15-30 Minutes Before Your Kids
One of the best ways to ensure you get some self-care time is to wake up before your kids. It may sound daunting, especially if you’re already sleep-deprived, but those extra 15-30 minutes in the morning can be a game-changer. Use this quiet time to do something that relaxes and rejuvenates you. It could be as simple as enjoying a cup of tea or coffee in peace, praying, or reading a book. Starting your day with a calm and focused mind can set a positive tone for the rest of the day.

2. Fit in Mini Breaks Throughout the Day
Finding large chunks of time for self-care might be unrealistic, but fitting in mini breaks throughout the day can be just as effective. These short bursts of self-care can help you recharge and stay grounded amidst the chaos. Here are some ideas:
• Journal: Keep a small journal handy and jot down your thoughts, feelings, or anything that’s on your mind. Journaling can be a great way to process emotions and gain clarity.
• Stretch: Take a few minutes to stretch your body. Simple stretches can relieve tension, improve circulation, and boost your energy levels.
• Hydrate: Drinking water is essential for your physical and mental well-being. Make it a habit to sip water throughout the day.
• Read: Carry a book or an e-reader with you. Even reading a few pages can provide a mental escape and give you a fresh perspective.

3. Set Boundaries Around Your Time and Capacity
As a mom, it’s easy to feel like you have to do it all, but setting boundaries is crucial for your well-being. Knowing your limits and being clear about them can help you manage your time and energy more effectively. Here’s how to do it:
• Prioritize Your Wellbeing: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine, just like any other essential task.
• Learn to Say No: It’s okay to say no to extra responsibilities or activities that overwhelm you. Be selective about how you spend your time and energy.
• Delegate: If possible, delegate tasks to your partner, family members, or friends. Sharing responsibilities can lighten your load and give you more time for self-care.
• Create a Self-Care Schedule: Set specific times for self-care activities and stick to them. Whether it’s a daily walk, a weekly yoga class, or a monthly spa day, having a schedule can help ensure you make time for yourself.

Keeping up with self-care as a busy toddler mom might seem challenging, but it’s absolutely possible with a little planning and intention. When you prioritize your well-being, you can show up as the best version of yourself for your family. Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. So, make self-care a priority and watch how it positively impacts your life and your family.

3 Reasons Why Balance in Parenting Doesn’t Work, And Why You Should Focus on Harmony Instead.

I hear so many "gurus" telling moms that they need to achieve balance in order to feel less stressed and overwhelmed. I've tried so many times to find that balance as a wife, mom of two, teacher, and business owner. I'm here to tell you (and hopefully save you some headache) that it doesn't work. There is no way to achieve balance as a busy mom with a list of roles and responsibilities.

Let me explain why...

The definition of balance is "an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady." There's no way you can equally be completely present with your toddler, completely in tune with your own needs, able to manage household tasks, work responsibilities, and have a social life. It just doesn't work that way. You'll be left feeling guilty, drained, and resentful.

Why Balance Doesn't Work:

1. Unpredictable Schedules: Toddlers are famously unpredictable. One day they nap for two hours, the next day, they refuse to nap at all. Trying to maintain a balanced schedule in the face of such variability is an exercise in futility.
2. High Expectations: The concept of balance sets an unrealistic standard. It implies that you can give equal attention and energy to every aspect of your life, all the time. This expectation is not only unachievable but also unfair to you as a parent.
3. Guilt and Stress: When you inevitably fall short of maintaining balance, it can lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy. This additional stress can affect your well-being and your ability to be present and joyful with your child.


We have to stop allowing society and social media make us feel like if we aren't balancing it all in high heels, we're not good enough. I urge you to release the ridiculous expectations that have been placed on you and focus on achieving harmony.

Harmony is being able to form a pleasing and consistent whole. Focus on creating a schedule or a life system that is pleasing to you and that you have the capacity to maintain. Find a flow that works for you and your family. It acknowledges the dynamic and ever-changing nature of life with a toddler.

How to Cultivate Harmony in Your Life:

1. Flexible Routines: Routines provide predictability and they’re great for children, but it’s important to be flexible enough to adapt to your toddler's needs. For example, have a general bedtime routine but be prepared to adjust the timing based on how the day goes.
2. Prioritize Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is not a luxury—it's a necessity. Find small pockets of time, I call them mini breaks, throughout the day for activities that recharge you.
3. Simplify and Delegate: Simplify your to-do list. Before the week starts, create a list of things that need to be done during the week and limit each day’s to do list to no more than 3 tasks. Also, delegate tasks whenever possible.
4. Mindful Presence: Focus on being present in the moment rather than worrying about the next task. When you’re with your toddler, immerse yourself in play and connection. When you’re working or taking time for yourself, give those activities your full attention.
5. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate the small wins, whether it’s a successful nap time or a few minutes of quiet for yourself. These moments of harmony add up and contribute to a more fulfilling parenting experience.

Attempting to achieve balance can leave you feeling like you're constantly falling short. Instead, aim for harmony—creating a flow and flexible approach that honors the dynamic nature of parenting a toddler. When you embrace harmony, you can reduce stress, enjoy the journey more, and create a nurturing environment for both you and your toddler.

Stop Waiting Until Bedtime: How to Integrate Self-Care into Your Day as a Busy Toddler Mom

For a long time, I thought that being a good mother meant always putting my children first, even at the expense of my well-being. That was the example I had growing up, so I just assumed that it was the norm. Until I became a mother myself. I found myself with a toddler, overwhelmed, exhausted, experiencing what felt like never ending mom fog, and I felt lonely. I had this amazing experience I was going through as a new mom, but I missed adult conversations and hanging out with my friends. I didn’t know who I was anymore outside of being someone’s mother.

The only time I had to myself was whenever my daughter napped, or when she went down for the night and in both cases I usually ended up completing some household chores. Even though, everyday I’d make a plan to catch up on a podcast or do my nails once the baby was sleep, I always ended up doing something else. I quickly learned that putting my needs last all the time was not sustainable. I just grew even more exhausted, overwhelmed, and easily triggered by my toddler’s behavior.

I know that as moms, we want to do all the things and act like we have it all together, but putting yourself last isn’t the way. You deserve to prioritize your own needs too. In this post, I’m going to share four effective strategies that will help you integrate self-care into your daily routine without waiting until bedtime.

1. Reframe Your Mindset

The first step is to reframe the mindset that your needs always come last. It’s important to recognize that your well-being is crucial, not only for you but also for your family. When you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to care for others. Start by making a conscious decision that your needs matter.

2. Address Overwhelm with Coping Skills

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s important not to ignore it. Pushing through without addressing your feelings can lead to emotional outbursts, especially during challenging moments with your toddler. Instead, pause and use a coping skill to regulate your nervous system.

Deep breathing exercises, one of my favorite coping skills, can be extremely effective. Take a few minutes to focus on your breath, inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling slowly through your mouth. This simple practice can help calm your mind and body, allowing you to respond to stress with more patience and clarity.

3. Encourage Independent Play

Providing your toddler with opportunities to play independently is beneficial for both you and your child. STEM toys and materials that promote creativity and problem-solving are excellent choices. Magnatiles, for instance, are a fantastic option as they can engage children in endless ways.

Use your toddler’s independent playtime as an opportunity to practice self-care. While they are busy building and exploring, take a moment to do something that rejuvenates you. Whether it’s reading a chapter of a book, fitting in a quick workout, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee, these small breaks can recharge your energy and improve your mood.

4.Take Mini Breaks

Incorporating self-care into your daily routine doesn't require large blocks of time. Taking mini breaks of five minutes or more throughout the day can help you stay centered and regulated. Reflect on your daily routine and identify small windows of time where you can prioritize self-care.

By regularly checking in with yourself and addressing your needs in real-time, you can prevent overwhelm and maintain a more balanced emotional state throughout the day.

Waiting until the end of the day to take time for yourself isn’t a sustainable strategy. By reframing your mindset, addressing overwhelm with coping skills, encouraging independent play, and taking mini breaks, you can integrate self-care into your daily routine. Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. When you prioritize your own needs, you set a positive example for your children and create a more balanced, fulfilling family life.