How to Use Authority and Grace to Guide your Toddler

As a mom, it’s natural to face moments when you feel unsure about how to handle your toddler’s behavior. They experience many moments of big emotions, and their natural desire for control can sometimes make parenting feel like a struggle. However, as Christian moms, we have a God-given authority to guide, protect, and raise our children with love, discipline, and grace. Part of making the shift from reactive parenting to Grace based-parenting is accepting that you cannot control your child, but you do have God’s authority to raise them according to His will and be a living example of his love and grace. Below, I’m going to share three ways to exercise that authority in a way that strengthens your relationship with your toddler and nurtures their growth.

1. Be Consistent in Your Authority

One of the primary causes of resistance from toddlers is their desire for control. This stage of development is all about exploring independence, which can make setting boundaries challenging. However, being consistent in your authority is key to helping your toddler understand that you’re not just someone who reacts to their behavior but someone who lovingly guides them toward what’s best. When you consistently set boundaries and offer acceptable alternatives to unwanted behaviors, your toddler learns that boundaries aren’t there to limit their freedom but to keep them safe and support their learning. By maintaining consistency, you are showing them that part of your role as a parent is to help them learn the skills and behaviors they need for success in life.

For example, if your child is throwing toys, consistently stepping in and offering an alternative like throwing a soft ball outside helps them understand that the behavior isn’t being stopped just because you say so, but because there’s a better way to express that energy. Over time, this consistency teaches them that your authority as a parent is there to guide them toward healthy and appropriate actions.

2. Don’t Just Discipline—Instruct

Children communicate through their behavior, and as a parent, it’s essential to understand that you’re not just responding to what they do but to the belief or feeling that drives it. Discipline in the form of setting boundaries and consequences can stop unwanted behavior in the moment, but it’s the instruction that creates lasting change. After a challenging moment, when emotions have settled, take a few minutes to have a quick conversation with your child. This allows you to help them understand why their behavior was unacceptable and how they can take accountability for it. It’s also an opportunity to introduce a more acceptable replacement behavior or to teach a new skill. When you instruct your child rather than simply disciplining, you’re addressing the root cause of the behavior and helping them grow emotionally and behaviorally.

For example, if your toddler grabs toys from a friend during playtime, simply telling them not to grab might stop the behavior in the moment. But taking time to explain why sharing is important, introducing phrases like “Can I have a turn?” and encouraging them to practice this new skill helps them learn to navigate social interactions in a healthier way. Instruction turns discipline into a teaching moment that helps your child grow into the person God created them to be.

3. Choose to Display Grace and Compassion

Parenting toddlers often brings out big emotions—not just in them but in us too. It’s easy to react when you’re tired, frustrated, or overwhelmed, but one of the most powerful ways to exercise your God-given authority is by choosing to display grace and compassion, even in the toughest moments. No matter how many mistakes we make, God’s grace is always available to us—even in the midst of consequences. As parents, we are living examples of God’s love for our children, and choosing to be as gracious and compassionate as He is teaches them about His goodness. Your child needs to experience your love most when they’re struggling. Grace doesn’t mean avoiding consequences; it means approaching discipline with understanding and empathy.

For instance, when your toddler has a meltdown, reacting out of frustration might escalate the situation. Instead, pausing to offer a comforting hug and calmly explaining what went wrong can help them process their emotions more effectively. This not only helps them feel safe but also shows them that, just like God, you are there for them even when things get messy.

As you exercise your authority as a parent, remember that God has entrusted you with the sacred role of guiding your child toward a life of love, respect, and faith. By being consistent, instructing rather than just disciplining, and choosing to display grace and compassion, you’re not only shaping their behavior—you’re shaping their heart. Parenting is a journey, but with God’s guidance and grace, you have everything you need to lead your child in love and help them grow into the person they’re meant to be. Keep trusting in His plan for you and your family as you walk this path together.

Setting Limits with Toddlers: 5 Tips For a Struggle Free Approach

Parenting toddlers can sometimes feel like a losing battle. Getting through a meal time can leave you sweaty, covered in food, and feeling defeated. Showing your toddler not to hit when upset and teaching more appropriate behaviors can be challenging, especially when you're reality as a child consisted of punishment, timeouts, and "do as I say, not as I do".
Setting boundaries with toddlers can often lead to tantrums and power struggles if you don't understand how to communicate with your toddler. Toddlers are egocentric, they only see things from their perspective and they want things to go their way at all times. Understanding this, combined with parenting strategies that support collaboration and healthy development will make setting boundaries simple and you'll see a decrease in power struggles.

Will the tantrums and power struggles stop completely? No. In fact, tantrums are a sign of healthy development, so they will happen occasionally. Having the tools to calmly respond to these tantrums will make parenting a less stressful and overwhelming experience. By using a thoughtful approach, you can hold a boundary while still being loving and firm.

1. Prepare Your Toddler for What's Going to Happen
One of the best ways to avoid a power struggle is to prepare your child for transitions. Toddlers often resist sudden changes, so giving them a heads-up can make a big difference. For example, instead of abruptly announcing bedtime, say, "After this game, it's bedtime." This gives your toddler time to adjust to the idea and reduces the likelihood of resistance.

2. Make Statements, Not Questions
When setting boundaries, it's important to be clear and direct. Asking questions can sometimes give the impression that there’s a choice when there isn’t one. Instead of asking, "Are you ready to go to bed?" say, "It's time for bed." This removes ambiguity and sets a clear expectation.

3. Offer Choices After the Statement
Toddlers love feeling a sense of control, and offering choices within the boundary can help them feel empowered. After stating the boundary, offer a simple choice: "Would you like to wear your red pajamas or your blue ones?" This encourages collaboration and gives them a sense of autonomy. Be sure to give them 10-15 seconds to make their decision. If they don’t choose, you can move on to the next step.

4. Make the Choice if They're Unable To
If your toddler is unable or unwilling to make a choice, you can make it for them. This maintains the boundary and moves the process forward without getting stuck in a power struggle. For example, if they don't choose their pajamas, calmly say, "Since you didn't choose, I'll pick the red pajamas for you."

5. Maintain the Boundary
Once a boundary is set, it's crucial to maintain it. Avoid back-and-forth negotiations, as this can undermine your authority and lead to more power struggles in the future. Be consistent and firm, yet loving. Let your toddler know that you are there to support them, but the boundary remains in place.

Setting boundaries with toddlers can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to lead to power struggles. By preparing your child for transitions, making clear statements, offering choices, and maintaining the boundary, you can create a positive and cooperative environment. Remember, you can hold a boundary and be loving at the same time. With practice, your toddler will learn to respect the limits you set while feeling secure in your consistent and caring approach.

How to Keep Up with Self-Care as a Busy Toddler Mom

As a toddler mom, you’re constantly on the go, juggling multiple responsibilities and tending to the endless needs of your little one. Whether you're a working mom or SAHM, with one toddler or multiples, it can become easy to put self-care on the back burner, but i've said it before and i'll say it again, taking care of yourself is crucial for your well-being and your ability to care for your family.

When I don't take the time to tend to my needs, I find myself being short with my family, easily triggered by my toddler's behavior, and feeling more overwhelmed than usual. I can't be the calm present parent I want to be for my children when i'm tired, overwhelmed, and frustrated. When I experience this, I course correct by ensuring that I create time to focus on my own needs and wellbeing every day. I want to share three simple yet effective ways that you can incorporate self-care into your busy routine each day.

1. Wake Up 15-30 Minutes Before Your Kids
One of the best ways to ensure you get some self-care time is to wake up before your kids. It may sound daunting, especially if you’re already sleep-deprived, but those extra 15-30 minutes in the morning can be a game-changer. Use this quiet time to do something that relaxes and rejuvenates you. It could be as simple as enjoying a cup of tea or coffee in peace, praying, or reading a book. Starting your day with a calm and focused mind can set a positive tone for the rest of the day.

2. Fit in Mini Breaks Throughout the Day
Finding large chunks of time for self-care might be unrealistic, but fitting in mini breaks throughout the day can be just as effective. These short bursts of self-care can help you recharge and stay grounded amidst the chaos. Here are some ideas:
• Journal: Keep a small journal handy and jot down your thoughts, feelings, or anything that’s on your mind. Journaling can be a great way to process emotions and gain clarity.
• Stretch: Take a few minutes to stretch your body. Simple stretches can relieve tension, improve circulation, and boost your energy levels.
• Hydrate: Drinking water is essential for your physical and mental well-being. Make it a habit to sip water throughout the day.
• Read: Carry a book or an e-reader with you. Even reading a few pages can provide a mental escape and give you a fresh perspective.

3. Set Boundaries Around Your Time and Capacity
As a mom, it’s easy to feel like you have to do it all, but setting boundaries is crucial for your well-being. Knowing your limits and being clear about them can help you manage your time and energy more effectively. Here’s how to do it:
• Prioritize Your Wellbeing: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine, just like any other essential task.
• Learn to Say No: It’s okay to say no to extra responsibilities or activities that overwhelm you. Be selective about how you spend your time and energy.
• Delegate: If possible, delegate tasks to your partner, family members, or friends. Sharing responsibilities can lighten your load and give you more time for self-care.
• Create a Self-Care Schedule: Set specific times for self-care activities and stick to them. Whether it’s a daily walk, a weekly yoga class, or a monthly spa day, having a schedule can help ensure you make time for yourself.

Keeping up with self-care as a busy toddler mom might seem challenging, but it’s absolutely possible with a little planning and intention. When you prioritize your well-being, you can show up as the best version of yourself for your family. Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. So, make self-care a priority and watch how it positively impacts your life and your family.

3 Reasons Why Balance in Parenting Doesn’t Work, And Why You Should Focus on Harmony Instead.

I hear so many "gurus" telling moms that they need to achieve balance in order to feel less stressed and overwhelmed. I've tried so many times to find that balance as a wife, mom of two, teacher, and business owner. I'm here to tell you (and hopefully save you some headache) that it doesn't work. There is no way to achieve balance as a busy mom with a list of roles and responsibilities.

Let me explain why...

The definition of balance is "an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady." There's no way you can equally be completely present with your toddler, completely in tune with your own needs, able to manage household tasks, work responsibilities, and have a social life. It just doesn't work that way. You'll be left feeling guilty, drained, and resentful.

Why Balance Doesn't Work:

1. Unpredictable Schedules: Toddlers are famously unpredictable. One day they nap for two hours, the next day, they refuse to nap at all. Trying to maintain a balanced schedule in the face of such variability is an exercise in futility.
2. High Expectations: The concept of balance sets an unrealistic standard. It implies that you can give equal attention and energy to every aspect of your life, all the time. This expectation is not only unachievable but also unfair to you as a parent.
3. Guilt and Stress: When you inevitably fall short of maintaining balance, it can lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy. This additional stress can affect your well-being and your ability to be present and joyful with your child.


We have to stop allowing society and social media make us feel like if we aren't balancing it all in high heels, we're not good enough. I urge you to release the ridiculous expectations that have been placed on you and focus on achieving harmony.

Harmony is being able to form a pleasing and consistent whole. Focus on creating a schedule or a life system that is pleasing to you and that you have the capacity to maintain. Find a flow that works for you and your family. It acknowledges the dynamic and ever-changing nature of life with a toddler.

How to Cultivate Harmony in Your Life:

1. Flexible Routines: Routines provide predictability and they’re great for children, but it’s important to be flexible enough to adapt to your toddler's needs. For example, have a general bedtime routine but be prepared to adjust the timing based on how the day goes.
2. Prioritize Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is not a luxury—it's a necessity. Find small pockets of time, I call them mini breaks, throughout the day for activities that recharge you.
3. Simplify and Delegate: Simplify your to-do list. Before the week starts, create a list of things that need to be done during the week and limit each day’s to do list to no more than 3 tasks. Also, delegate tasks whenever possible.
4. Mindful Presence: Focus on being present in the moment rather than worrying about the next task. When you’re with your toddler, immerse yourself in play and connection. When you’re working or taking time for yourself, give those activities your full attention.
5. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate the small wins, whether it’s a successful nap time or a few minutes of quiet for yourself. These moments of harmony add up and contribute to a more fulfilling parenting experience.

Attempting to achieve balance can leave you feeling like you're constantly falling short. Instead, aim for harmony—creating a flow and flexible approach that honors the dynamic nature of parenting a toddler. When you embrace harmony, you can reduce stress, enjoy the journey more, and create a nurturing environment for both you and your toddler.